:: dreaming of schemes ::

The musings, politics, frustrations and triumphs of an extrovertedly introverted musician from Philadelphia, PA.

Next shows: Blue Scheme: Wed., November 12 (blue scheme on last), Grape Street Pub [Manayunk], w/Lazlo and Secret Society, 105 Grape St., Philadelphia, $5, 21+, Doors at 9:00 pm
Wed., November 19 (blue scheme on first) Malokai's/Club 218 South [Center City], w/TBA 218 South St., Philadelphia $6, 21+, Doors at 9:00 pm
Fri., November 21 (blue scheme on second) Tokio Ballroom [Center City], w/Wellstar and Heather G 122 Lombard St., Philadelphia $5, 21+. Doors at 8:00 pm
Yellow Brain: Saturday, December 27, Fergie's Pub, 1214 Sansom, Philadelphia, 9:30pm

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April 28, 2003

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:: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 ::

Getting Strong Now...Won't Be Long Now

I feel more like myself...finally. Vitamins help.

At regular points in my life, I tend to feel that I've reached some new level of musical awareness or understanding. I think that I'm searching for whatever that is and not quite doing it. It's on the way, I think, but usually it's unconscious and I let that new knowledge wind its way through me until it's been completely absorbed, until it's no longer a discrete pearl unto itself.

To be unable to do or hear certain things is overwhelmingly frustrating, to the point where my body shuts down. Even now I'm fighting it. But new seeds are sown and the root systems are established and I feel the plant flowering inside. Now I just have to pick that flower.

In news of interest to someone other than myself, I'll be playing with Muhabla at the Mill Creek Tavern on December 18. The band is fronted by Mike T of Gigglesticks fame and his wife, Patricia, plays guitar. I'll be adding some keys to the mix. The City Limits crew (ex-Fathead flowosophists Herbie D and freAKAnature, Chuck Treece, Kevin Hanson) are at The Fire this Friday and I'm going to go see them. I might sing backup on stage with them, but I don't know for sure yet.

:: Anam 11:18 AM [+] ::

:: Tuesday, December 09, 2003 ::

Oh, the Torpidity

Ugh. Sometimes there are days, like this one, where my senses are completely dull and I can't get anything done. Musically, that is. I can do my day job to its fullest, but I feel devoid of any creative impulse. I don't even feel as though work has sucked it out of me...this time. I'm not looking forward to going home to work on music. Thinking about it tires me out.

I suppose this is part of the process. This happens every now and again, and I come out of it eventually. Hopefully, much stronger than before. But right now, it's hard for me not to think of music as pointless and I question how much it truly makes me happy.

Right now, music seems better suited to someone—anyone—but me. But I have to put one foot in front of the other and keep walking.

But what sane person would keep walking in the dark, unable to see what waits for them with each step?
:: Anam 4:28 PM [+] ::

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